Thursday, July 29, 2010

Blogathon is canceled, among other things

Just a quick update that I won't be doing Blogathon this year. It seems the alt-blogathon site couldn't get its act together either, so I'll hopefully be on board for next year. I think I'll  have the summer off next year.

I'm having some difficulties adjusting to life in San Francisco. It's a temporary life of course, as I will return to Pittsburgh in a couple weeks (sigh). When I would explain the trip to people in the spring, most would react with wonder and envy, wishing they could do something like this. The problem is, and I've been hesitant to say this but, I'm pretty lonely. As it turns out, independent studies are very isolating. Sal is working all day and I don't know anyone else. No one. I can only go to so many cafes, or the library or readings alone before things just get old. I like to experience things with people.

This all really has me thinking about the people in my life. Relationships have always been a big priority. Friendships, family bonds, peers, mentors. I've always been a people person. I do get excited on weekends to come home to my apartment in Pittsburgh and just be able to take a break, eat pizza in my underwear and watch Gilmore Girls all night. But then I want people. I want to talk something through with someone. I want conversation and understanding. I want to listen to someone else's thoughts, because mine are get old. Too repetitive.

It also has me thinking about investing in new relationships. As I begin the last year of my twenties, I realize that the people I'm closest to, the ones who know me the best and I can say anything to, are the people I've known the longest. I guess that's nothing new though. I've been lucky enough to make a few friends as an adult that have been my soulmates. But I've also lost a lot of friendships. I don't know if this a universal experience, or if the common denominator is me. Am I not investing in friendships in the way I want others to invest in me? I like to think I'm a good friend. I know I get a little lost in my head sometimes, but my oldest friends know how to just snap me out of my navel gazing. But then I think, how do people make friends as adults? It's not like childhood, where you realize you both love the color yellow and you're best friends forever.

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