Friday, March 25, 2011

Ok, I'll Admit It

Sometimes I pee with the door open. Actually, I live alone, so I always do. So what?

I've recently been exhausted by dealing with the ramifications of revealing personal information via my art. Specifically, important people in my life found this poem and I am feeling the heat. I need some sunscreen. SPF 327 please.

I also have a fear of being judged by people on public transportation. I know that THEY know I'm not supposed to be there.

It's not like I didn't think about the ramifications of sharing my personal life. In fact, I told my family about said poem, the content of which they already knew about, so nothing was a surprise. I'm very aware of what it means to be afraid to say something. I was fearful for a good portion of my life. So fearful that I didn't even say things to myself. I've come a long way.

Sometimes I spend a whole day doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes I won't go outside for an entire weekend.

I'm aware that my life does not exist in a vacuum. Making my personal life public affects the people I care about. However, it most often affects them in that they are made  uncomfortable. It ultimately isn't about me. It's about them being embarrassed. Sometimes people worry about me, how being public might affect my career. Mostly, they worry about themselves and the other people I might betray by being a public artist.

I currently weigh 185.2 pounds.

Honesty is a big part of who I am as a poet. I'll be the first person to admit my faults, if I'm aware that they exist. I can be aware, I can reflect and consider consequences, but in the end, it's my life. It's my poem to write.

What are you afraid to admit about yourself? What are you NOT afraid to admit?
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