It's hard to make friends as a grownup. I wish I had more friends in San Francisco, but I know it takes time. I do have some awesome friends here, but people are busy and my fear of the BART system keeps me from traveling to the East Bay. I gotta get over that.
How do you make friends in a new place?
I read somewhere that loneliness is often higher in more populated places. Mostly because people feel anonymous in a sea of faces. Quantity does not equal quality. Never having lived in a city before, I feel hopelessly uncool when I traipse about town. There are a lot of cool people here. Or maybe I just feel super uncool in comparison. Can they tell I'm from the suburbs? Do they know I eat casseroles?!?
While I'm pretty outgoing, I get nervous going to public events alone. Like a poetry reading, for example. Most people will go there with a friend. What am I supposed to do, walk up to people and say, "Will you be my friend?" Awk.ward.
Remember when you were kids and a new student came to your class and all the kids would rush to be best friends with them first? Ok, maybe that only happened to me. In the third grade I moved to a new school district in the spring, so the kids in my new class were pretty bored with each other. A new student coming in was a novelty. Everyone want to be my friend! When a new kid moved to the neighborhood, you'd just knock on the door and ask if they could come out to play. Even in grad school, everyone was in the same position: in need of friends.
It would be nice if it were that easy. Still though, I am a good candidate for a friend. I'm fun and I ask good questions. I like things like beer and poetry. Often simultaneously, but that's not a requirement. I like lots of things. Settlers of Catan? Awesome! Chinese dumplings? Delish!
In other news, I found a blog that is specifically about my neighborhood in San Francisco. It's called Haighteration. Isn't that cool? I will venture out to some of the neighborhood events soon, try to knock on some doors, see who can come out to play.