Monday, December 26, 2011

Inside the Gray

Today I woke up at noon. Christmas was exhausting yesterday and I didn't get much sleep the night before. I think I'm a pretend extrovert. I had to go hide in my old room in my parents' house after I helped clean up dinner. I just needed a break from noise.

At work I wear noise canceling headphones and I play gray noise. It's not as high pitched as white noise. It's awesome. I'm using it right now. The TV is on playing some kind of reality show drama, but I can only hear the calming sound of water falling.

Sal is in New York with his family. I leave to see him on Wednesday. This will be the last Christmas we spend apart. It's been my least favorite holiday. My family is wonderful. I got lovely gifts. I just wish Sal could have been here for it.

I have only five submissions outstanding right now and zero desire to submit new work. I'm just not excited about it at all. I want to start fresh. I didn't meet my goal of 100 submissions this year; I stopped at 64. I'm finishing with pretty great numbers for the year though.

Acceptances: 8 journals/10 poems
Overall Acceptance: 12.5%

Last year I had a higher acceptance rate, but I also submitted to much more difficult markets this year. That acceptance also includes the contest I won. It doesn't include my chapbook though. I don't know how to think about that. It was a total shock to me. Still is.

I have written a lot during this second half of the year, the darkening half. Now that the planet has begun it's slow turn back toward the sun, I'm hoping to discover my poems again. This is what I have to say to gray.

Gray, is that a poem inside? I will unwrap the spine of it. Swindle and spring. I will ravish every shade.
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