I have been getting a lot of feedback on my poetry in the past couple of weeks. I'm surprised with a lot of the responses. Mostly because I am not a good judge of my own work; a lot of people aren't apparently. But one thing in particular people have said is that I'm brave.
Let me clarify: I'm not brave. I'm a coward. Journalists who go to war-zones are brave. Women giving birth are brave. Children trying something for the first time, that's brave. Me and my little words on a page are really not brave.
I don't mean to diminish the things I'm saying. I have some interesting new ideas I'm working with regarding mental illness and the creative mind. I'm revealing secrets, which is exciting, but I don't know if it's brave. I also know what people are saying. They are saying that because I'm being open and honest with feelings and facing the things people shy away from, that this somehow makes me brave. For me, not facing my feelings is not an option. I also prefer being open to a fault. Sometimes I really kill good moments with a blurted-out obvious comment.
On another note regarding feedback: I get a lot of energy when people tell me what they like about my poetry. Getting compliments just makes me soar. However, when I get harsher criticism I swing the other way completely. I feel almost sick. I begin to doubt myself and it really stifles my writing.
A good friend of mine says he prefers harsher feedback because he feels like it will make him a better writer. I clearly don't react the same way. Perhaps different people just prefer different styles of feedback. But I also want to know if something just isn't working at all. Just let me down easy maybe? I wish I wasn't so sensitive about this.
I also think that at some point you have to stop accepting criticism about a poem. You have to decide that as a poet, you have done your best work and that you have a vision and you believe in it. Or that you know you need to scrap the whole damn thing and start again. Sometimes you might need to just take the poem, light it on fire, bury the ashes and grown a new poem from that earth. But we need to trust ourselves as artists. I think that knowing yourself, believing in your vision and deciding that your work is worth the effort can be the most difficult battle.
3 comments:
Let me just say- it IS brave to write your truth like this. I have such a similar approach to my art/writing and it's really a radically empowering thing to say THIS IS MY STORY AND IT MATTERS!
I love you, dearest Miss Dee. And I must add that "Dear Outer Space" is the best blog title EVAR!
OH sweet pea! I'm so glad you are here. I need interaction on this space. I've got so many ideas to put out there and I miss blogging like whoa. WHOA doggy!
I appreciate you clarifying people's comments. I agree that it is brave to put yourself out there. However, I don't want my work to rely on the fact that I'm brazen and brash. I want to reign in the sensational and really hone in on what I'm trying to say. To communicate and connect. That's the goal.
Love you!
@ L. Davis: Couldn't agree more! (Though I will find nicer ways to criticize...I may be overly harsh with my friends)
There's a time for boldness, and there's a time for discretion. Who's to say that they can't be the same moment? There are some writers who have the privilege/obligation to be "in-your-face", and then there are some ability to make a subtler point. You, my dear, have that latter capability, which I feel is equally necessary.
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